Tag Archive: Miriam Aziz


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Corner of Strada Statale 478 and Via Firenze, Sarteano, Italy, June 16, 2013

Posted on June 16, 2013

Aziz_16062013And here we begin our second performance of Ravel’s Bolero with six spanish thoroughbred horses that circle, inviting, hesitating and eventually urging the dancers within to emerge. The previous evening – a premiere of many sorts, including the Equus component to Lost for Words – the tension cut knife like through the communication between horse, rider and dancer so that what remained were merely fragments of a wish to explore the many arts of conversation. This time, however, we wordlessly alter the warm-up after a dancer has completed a short barre within earshot of the sound of wind that makes an oak tree sing as swallows above weave figures of infinity that I occasionally look up to register for later use. I wrestle with finding something innate to a piece of music that has been set to perfection by Maurice Béjart as I have been wrestling for some time now to find anything whether through music, movement or a mere gesture that is inherently beyond artifice. It is as I threaten to remain, impossible. As I finish my barre, the curtains of doubt are drawn aside so that I may once again face breath shortening fear, wishing once again that I had stayed home with a good book some place, any place else than where I currently stand. I am looking at the riders saddle up the horses and I see a sunday afternoon at a country horse show where children barter with parents for ice-cream and pony rides. I suddenly remember an interview I read in the New York Times some days earlier with Mark Morris who said that, “And so as soon as I was choreographing other people besides myself, which was very early on, I was making up stuff that I wanted to watch, as opposed to what I wanted to feel like.”

Giancarlo has choreographed the horses in such a way that permits me to engage with them as I wish. I may ignore them, I may mirror them, I may take off my jacket and explore how I may encircle them, as a portrait mid-air with the serenity that militates against them taking fright. In the field where we warm up together, some of the horses freeze when I use the jacket as a cape; it would have to be a horse called Artista that stops in front of me as he starts to jerk his head back to rear. Both rider and dancer, however, insist and even though his ears flick back for a moment, we continue as we were saying…I should be terrified, as I was the previous evening when one of the horses did exactly the same thing. Then, we were both put off when the horse stepped onto my wooden platform which is centre stage and froze as I froze and then we both flinched and stepped aside with perfect timing, as we mirrored each other’s fear. This evening, however, I want to use the dressage coat as a cape, or at least have that choice. And so, as I wave it even higher, though a little more slowly, to accompany Artista as he eventually trots by, I find the words that will make sentences out of the story I want to tell.

I remember standing in the middle of the stage on a wooden platform as the music started. I remember facing a line of six horses as they walk towards me in double file that parts around me as I follow the movement with the first rond de jambe with my arms tightly clasped behind my back with my head bowed beneath a top hat. I remember knowing as I released my arms gradually that nothing mattered more in that moment than simply allowing for the possibility of a dance as a pas de six that is worth sitting beneath a heatwaving sun for. I also remember deciding to take off half of my jacket as Artista strolled by and sensing the ripple of the adrenalin in his flanks, and knowing that neither of us may allow for but must dance our fear. Most of all, I remember the silence as I began and continued to dance, sometimes alone, sometimes accompanied as I realise that there are some dancers you need to see for yourself.

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Corner of Here, There and Everywhere, June 7, 2013

Posted on June 7, 2013

Aziz_07062013The Lost for Words soundtrack is available from CD Baby and i-tunes ! Composed by Miriam Aziz during the Artist (s) at Large (AaL) performance art laboratory sessions held at the Baryshnikov Arts Center (BAC) in New York and at Université Paris Dauphine during 2011 / 12, the music for Lost for Words archives an interdisciplinary research project concerning ideas about social justice both with and beyond text by focussing on concepts of witness, memory and testimony.

I usually compose music first and then I try to see how I might create a dance / theatre piece from it. This time, however, I started by exploring movement to see what it might sound like. I started by spending time in a studio at BAC on my own and would use movement to notate music that I would later record across town at Lofish Studios later that day. I gradually started to work with other artists during AaL lab sessions and would use the same method. For a while, I was so focussed on doing this, that I would walk through New York and I would start to ‘hear’ the music of how some people moved until it sometimes seemed as though I was witnessing a dance / theatre piece set to the music in my mind’s eye. If someone in particular stood out and struck chords or intimated a melody, I’d sketch them later on that evening from memory and would add a few notes that I would use to compose to. Not only was it a way to hear what I saw, but also, I started to realise how we compose testimony by drawing from memory that is not only a matter of words. Movement is so much of who we are; some might say it is who we are. And so I thought, why not explore the many ways we tell or withhold our stories through movement with music.

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Corner of Via dell’Osteriaccia and SP82, Salci, Umbria, Italy, May 18, 2013

Posted on May 18, 2013

The performance / research project Lost for Words continues to evolve as Artist (s) at Large accompany me in the search to discover and engage with communication both with and beyond words. Observing Giancarlo at the Agriturismo Il Felcino as he works with his Spanish thoroughbred horses, I realise that there are dimensions of this project that I have overlooked. The depth of the non-verbal communication that I see reminds me why this project needs the structure of a laboratory that is not only moveable but that is a collaborative endeavour. There is a need to talk to the same people, different people and the same people differently.

My legal research regarding issues of informed consent for medical treatment, particularly regarding those who are incapable of giving consent as well as the duty for good, clear, coherent and concise communication between administrative authorities and citizens regarding their rights is linked to Lost for Words. Few of us are capable of articulating through words how we feel with precision, particularly when afraid, or overwhelmed as in the context of a hospital, or when dealing with an administration. Few of us master the linguistic codes and ways of doing things that are also unwritten. We delegate our voices to third parties and hope that those third parties are capable of transposing our will as well as our stories. If we are unable to put into words what we feel and / or if our advocate is unable to decipher the non-verbal communication that we transmit, we are lost in translation. The consequence may not only spell d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r but also both trust and authority are eroded.

The horses at Il Felcino observe humans in a state of watchful, nervous apprehension and anticipation. They sense hesitation, lack of authority as well as distraction and fear. Giancarlo says that you need to find the key to each horse and I add, “It’s the same for humans, no?”, as I am reminded once more, that the art of listening is life long learning that requires collaboration, co-ordination and concentration. If I had to come up with a principle according to which lawyers ought to communicate with individuals, it would be “empathied detachment”. But that is, no doubt, another law article. For now, have a look at the piece that Giancarlo came up with which opened a whole avenue of enquiry for Lost for Words as well as the blue print for a performance piece.

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Corner of Via Biagio Assereto and Via Roma, Recco, Italy, May 15, 2013

Posted on May 15, 2013

Aziz_16052013Here we are after an overnight stay in a carriage house by the sea before driving through Camogli towards San Rocco to stand by the church overlooking a cliff through skyscraper trees as a coastline where we stood years earlier, James and I. If you turn left as you face the church there is a path that leads to Portofino as you have your back to the bakery where we had cakes for breakfast. As I stand there, looking at a fisherman’s boat circled by seagulls, I hear myself say, “We need to get going.” He is reading the guide book and saying there are also walks that he wants to explore in the Apuane mountains with Andrea and I start to say, “Yes, but another time. We need to get going, I want to get there before it gets dark.” It is years later as I sit at a table of a restaurant built into the cliff that is not yet open as a barman sweeps under the tables and I know that this is the place where we stood as we were here and it was now. And it is the song in Lost for Words, “Were you with Me?” which is what my memory of James sound like that reminds me of the question I ask:”We are here and this is now, why can’t I have that feeling back?” I realise that I need no longer be haunted that I might never find that feeling again. It is always there. We need only look and never cease to search for that instant that makes up the times of our lives which we whisper in morse code to those who care to decipher whilst following in footsteps that are entirely their own.

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Corner of Exmouth Market and Rosoman Street, London, May 2, 2013

Posted on May 2, 2013

On May 2, Toby Miller, Professor of Cultural Industries in the Center for Cultural Policy and Management at the City University, London interviewed me at a cafe in Islington before I made a presentation at the Law School of City University entitled, “Lost for Words: Embodying Law through Tanztheater“. Our conversation ranged from law, art, ways of seeing, the diversity of perception, democratic approaches to the creative process, Artist (s) at Large and Lost for Words. Here is the unabridged version of the podcast: http://culturalstudies.podbean.com/2013/05/02/miriam-aziz-on-the-law-music-dance-choreography-and-collaboration/. It is also available on iTunes, Android, or iPhone through free subscription, under ‘culturalstudies’.

Our conversation and my presentation at the Law School was the first opportunity I have had to order my thoughts about my work with Artist (s) at Large both within and beyond the context of exploring ideas about law and social justice. Afterwards, I was assailed by the desire to invite everyone back to a studio and run a workshop with the aim of creating a piece. Earlier on, Toby kindly took a detour as we walked to the cafe so that I might see Sadler’s Wells. I slowed my pace yet looked straight ahead as I resisted the siren calls, muttering “Not now, not yet.” Eventually, however, why not?

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Corner of Eastbourne Terrace and Chilworth Street, London, May 3, 2013

Posted on May 3, 2013

I make the same mistake I made in Frankfurt as I arrive two days earlier on May 1st to present a paper on Lost for Words and Artist (s) at Large Aziz_08052013at City University Law School. Between the train platform that hosts the Heathrow Express train at Paddington Station, a cash point, and hesitating at the entrance of stairs that lead to the tube, centuries below, before my feet vote in favour of a cab which drives me past Regents Park and memories that surface after years of neglect, I suddenly realise what I saw as I looked over my shoulder, as the pulse of my pace quickened towards an exit stage left.

I saw light that radiates halos on all that move in between the obstacles we make of eachother as we sidestep all likelihood of outstaying the welcome with which we run to catch trains. It is two days later when I finally take this picture as a gesture with half a heart of the corpse of the memento mori that was. On my way back to Heathrow, I walk and do not run so that I may think about all that I saw and all of the moments made up of people I met, as I witness not for the first time how souls may sing, even as they keep up the appearance of sitting still. And so it is that I realise that The Listening Room chapter in Lost for Words is not just a room but it is an account of the many ways we take note of what surrounds as well as what is right in front of us, if not all, at least some of the time.

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Corner of Mannheimer Straße und Karlsruhe Straße, Frankfurt, Germany, March 5, 2013

Posted on March 5, 2013

And so I run towards regret as I board a train only to realise that this train was as good as the next one as I see refractions of light through glass of a station that at this hour before dusk is a mirror of perfection as I ask for the number of a platform, twice, before I run to jump to land in a seat from where the last I will see of that light will be enough, later, to twist despair into knots in a handkerchief to remind me never to run away from such light but to stand right there as I see it sketch out contours of where we stand so that we pass for shadows of selves that for one moment are not merely ours to behold.

In my bag, I have a law journal called This Century’s Review which has published a law article Aziz_05032013with my name and picture: Lost for Words: Law as Tanztheater. I enjoy the pride before, no doubt, the next fall. Some said that it would never be published and that I would certainly never get tenure which such far fetched ideas (I wonder whether it makes a difference that the article does not merely contain ideas about what I have read but also of what I experienced…?) Be that as it may, there is little time to seek to convince otherwise. Moreover, if I must convince, then what I engage in is rhetoric and to seek to persuade of the legitimacy of my approach to research feels unscientific in a small town called legal academy. I thought – perhaps I might be forgiven to err – that rhetoric was reserved for the court room, obtaining a mortgage, a hand in marriage or for the dog to eat grass outside to sooth his dyspeptic stomach instead of chewing on the second cushion this month. Days later, I will remember the conversations I will have with Laura as we walk towards the library at the University about how to transmit and mediate ideas about law through art. We talk, we laugh, we fret, we plan and most of all, we rejoice as we remind ourselves that we live as we breath. And not later and never maybe tomorrow. Now which at times, is worth missing trains for.

And oh, this just in: the law journal Law and Humanities are going to publish my article, ‘Lost for Words: Embodying Law through Tanztheater’ this summer. And in May, City University fly me to London to present examples of my work as well as the ideas that are both the fuel and the flame behind Artist (s) at Large and Lost for Words. Someone once said not that long ago that if I continued to pursue this research it would be tantamount to career suicide and that I was in danger of becoming lost. I turned up my collar as I asked to be excused from an office that housed a mind made up and years later I am reading a book by Rita Levi- Montalcini and I realise the prices that others have paid for curiosity. I may not have paid the same price as Rita, but at least I know that whereas I may at times be lost, I am not alone. It is as Rita says: “Abbi il coraggio di conoscere.“

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Corner of Via Giulio Gaudini and Viale P. de Courbetin, Rome, February 1, 2013

Posted on February 1, 2013

I am still late as I fruit a loop around a roundabout which is just where I left it when this used to be my way to work, past Renzo Piano’s Auditorium which has a book shop where I first met Nina Berberova, an amour fou that never really levitated to happier hunting grounds but burned bright above a world oh so sky scraper high. A little old lady walks out in front of me as she envisions a zebra crossing she swears is right where she last saw it. I brake with staccato aplomb and smile benignly as memories of stomach ulcers perdu hiccup a pas de chat as I spy with my little eye something blue that begins with B that has just slid out from beneath the passenger seat. BOOK!

Oh. Make that L. As in Law book. I have a walk on part but forgot to behead a bottle of champagne to Aziz_01022013celebrate the opening night as I finally draw back the curtains to see just where I come in. (p. 175, I checked at the trafficAziz_01022013_2 lights which were, I hereby solemnly swear, red). I am a vanity case on this first day of February as I hunt to gather the ever elusive parking space otherwise known as a dodo as I turn to avoid communion with a tram that makes advances with high-frequency ardour and that is when I see it through pine trees, this light, this Rome on this day of yet to be filed as syndicated history and I hear another Nina’s voice who said to me before I left New York, that she did not so much envy me Paris as Rome. “It is the light, you will love that light.” Nina is almost right. I do love the light and as I later fly through a class of children holding hands, shouting out to Roberto, the fruit seller boxer, to keep aside two apples for later, I see, from the way that he smiles at me today, that between the light and I, there is a feeling we call mutual.

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Corner of Av. Foch et Blvd Flandrin, Paris, January 11, 2013

Posted on January 10, 2013

Aziz_16012013And so the Masters students in European and International Business Law at Université Paris Dauphine wrestle with definitions, distinctions and distractions as we try to translate Lost for Words into French. The attention to detail is similar if not the same that is necessary when drafting a contract, a negotiation strategy, a constitution, a legal treatise. They are then called upon to give ten minute presentations on European Union citizenship (2013 is after all the European Year of Citizens). These ten minutes are suddenly reduced to two minutes; some students are asked to present in English, some in French. One Russian student is called upon to make her presentation in Russian, but protests as she has prepared her notes in French. She thinks a little and then says that she will speak for 5 minutes in Russian and will summarise her points in both French and English. That’s called initiative; when you see that in action and when you see people think, innovate, create, it is a reminder that teaching is an honour. It is also where you learn the most, if you give students a chance to participate. At one point, one student says that she can imagine how she would stage a trial without words but has some difficulty explaining what she means, that is until two days later when we are in a dance studio. There I see imagination in action as we run through exercises adapted from dance / theatre; we try out a few mise-en-scènes that I invent until the students take over. During the trial without words, members of the jury suddenly turn their backs on the prosecutor. There it is again: initiative and creativity. These students are smart. They have alot to contribute about discussions about human rights in the EU, within the class room, in a dance studio and beyond. Within one week, I have seen a transformation from reticence and a little resistance to the courage and the confidence it takes to participate in class as a right to reply. In so doing, I have learned to understand how diverse the perception of law and human rights may be and how a participatory, collaborative model of teaching, fusing analysis and art may awaken the Gesamtkunstwerk in all of us.

Later that evening, I meet up with A. and we go out for dinner and decide to celebrate with just one word as we side step the question whether we have booked a table: “Mais non!“, we say, as though we have just been insulted; we add that we have been sent by the Opéra Garnier, which is around the corner. (This is true. We asked one of the security guards at the Opéra where we might eat oysters and he told us where to go). And so here we are, as we brush away our lack of reservation and say that we have been sent by the Opéra Garnier after which we say in unison: ”Champagne!” as we navigate our way to a table from where we shall celebrate the savoir faire and savoir vivre of human creativity until the early hours.

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Corner of Bd des Capucines et Rue Auber, Paris, January 8, 2013

Posted on January 8, 2013

Aziz_08012013This is what you do. You forget to change to the number 2 metro line that is the shortest way home as you smile back at a sign that says that this station is called Bonnes Nouvelles. Nice touch, you think but these words do not hit the spot. Patience is this hour’s virtue as you finally get up, mind a gap, head for a flight of stairs, then an escalator, then trample a few more stairs than are strictly necessary until you emerge through a wind tunnel with your back to what you came all this way to see. Its eyes bore through that center between your shoulder blades right through to the solar plexus and out the other side as you turn very slowly to savour the morsels of each second that bring you one step closer to seeing as believing that I think therefore it must be: Opéra Garnier.

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